updated May 1, 2022

Self-care is giving yourself the best of you, instead of what’s left of you” - Katie Reed.

Do you schedule time in for you? Or do you put everyone else’s needs before your own?

Regardless of how you answered the questions, this guide will help you learn how to pencil time into YOUR schedule for YOU!

Self-care is important! Yet most of us put it on the back burner, often forgetting that for us to be able to take care of others, we need to make time for ourselves as well. Before we can begin implementing strategies to help make us a priority throughout the week, we need to understand why we are putting ourselves last.

One of the reasons is lack of time. As women and busy working moms, our schedules are already booked to the max. Finding time to be a great employee, mother, partner, and friend can be tough. As a parent, your workday doesn’t end at 5:00 p.m. Once the “workday” is done, you are running home picking up the kids from school, making them supper, and taking them to their extracurricular activities. By the time you get home, make lunches, and get everyone ready for bed, you are wiped!

And whether you have children or not, you may feel pressure from work to put in longer hours, have expectations to attend networking events, have a second job, or an older adult that you are helping to care for. No matter your situation, I think we can all agree that we are BUSY!

Another reason we put ourselves last is that we feel selfish. Who else has felt guilty for going to the salon, buying a new outfit, signing up for a yoga class, or booking a little holiday just for you? Yup, me too! We all do! A study from the UK found that 95% of women felt guilty at least once within a 24-hour time period.

For many of us, we feel like we always need to be available to our family or friends. Whether it is your children, your parents, a good friend, or a client (especially if you are an entrepreneur), you feel the need to help! Choosing time for yourself over assisting a family member or loved one can seem selfish.

But girl, let me remind you that self-care is not selfish. The saying that “you can’t serve from an empty cup” is true. To be able to give our time, love, and energy to others, we need to ensure that our cup is brimming. But how many of us actively practice replenishing ourselves?

“If your compassion doesn’t include yourself, it is incomplete”- Jack Kornfield.

5 simple yet actionable tips to help you get started.

1. Learn to say No! This might seem challenging for you at first, especially if you usually say “yes” to please or help others, but to put yourself first, you need to start saying “no.” Saying “no” doesn’t make you a rude person or a bad friend. Instead, it shows that you are guarding and respecting your time, as well as setting boundaries around your values. To become more comfortable with saying “no,” start small. When asked to donate at the grocery store, politely decline. This will help you to get used to the type of emotions you feel when you use that powerful two-letter word. Eventually, it will get easier, and you might be surprised by how understanding others will be. Check out my blog post on Embrace the Power of No with more tips and tricks.

2. Schedule time for yourself! Yes, you heard it! Book “Me-Time” into your calendar or your phone! Treat your self-care time like an appointment. You can choose to do something active, like going to the gym or a more relaxing activity. It is your time! So, if you feel like taking a bubble bath and reading a book or simply just sleeping, then choose to do that!

3. Check-in with yourself! At the end of each day, check-in and ask yourself, “how am I feeling”? Did you have another crazy day at work? Are you starting to feel stressed or anxious? Make sure to listen to yourself. If you are feeling exhausted or overwhelmed, you might have to cancel some plans. Look in your calendar to see which appointments are flexible, and don’t feel bad re-scheduling. True friends will understand your need for self-care and respect your decision!

4. Remember your goals! Do you dream of opening your own business or going back to school? Are you hoping to run your first half marathon or wanting to learn how to knit? That is amazing, and you should make your goals and passion projects a priority. This means shifting your schedule around to squeeze some time in for “dream making.” If you carve out some time into your calendar, even just 30-minutes a day, you can make a dream come true!    

5. Ask for help! You are probably always there when friends or family are asking you for help. Now it is time for you to ask for it! You might need a babysitter so you can go out and meet your friends or you are overloaded with work and need a co-worker to jump in. Don’t feel bad asking for some assistance! Many people are willing to lend a hand, and believe me when I say that it will make your feel happier and less overwhelmed!

By implementing these 5 tips above, you will begin to replenish your own cup. You will start to feel more relaxed, happier, and your mental and physical health will improve too! I understand that starting a new routine can be challenging, therefore, I want to encourage you to start with small changes. The more you practice, the better you will get!

To help you start practicing, I have a challenge for you! For the next 30 days, I want you to intentionally set aside at least 30 minutes a day for yourself. Start by penciling “Me-Time” into your calendar. Then, I want you to send me a DM on Instagram @boldambassador, letting me know what the first thing is that you are going to do for you.

You got this girl! And remember: Self-care is not selfish!

If you are looking for some self-help books I recommend:

• “Carry on, Warrior! The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life” by Brené Brown
• “The Creation of Health” by Caroline Myss and C. Norman Shealy